One year!

It’s been a year since I was diagnosed with breast cancer, and time has flown. If you would have told me a year ago that I’d be chilling in bed reading a book in a year, I’d probably have laughed at you. I had no idea where I’d be in a year. Not that I thought I was going to die or anything, I just had no earthly clue what my life was going to look like.

So here I am, one year later. I kicked ass and took names. I met some new people along the way. I inspired people. It sounds weird and selfish to say that, but it’s true, which is even weirder.

So I’m going to go back to reading my book, hopefully dig up a snack here in a little while, and relax.

For those of you who have been reading from the beginning, thank you for your support. For those of you who have just begun, welcome to my brand of crazy. 💕

One month

Quick update because life is crazy.

Saw Dr H on Monday. GH is getting smaller, he said everything is looking good and wants to see me again in a month. So I’m slowly graduating to longer and longer gaps between visits, which is nice. It’s likely that at my next appointment, we’ll schedule the surgery. He didn’t say that, but I’m guessing that. He did say again that he wants to wait for the right nipple area to heal, and the skin is still working itself out over there. So hopefully in a month, that’ll be done and we can get moving.

I also saw Dr YB on Monday. All is good there as well. I got my infusion and my shot. Only one more infusion to go! Woohoo! So things are lining up nicely for me to have the port taken out when I have the flaps removed.

I’ve got a backlogged post that I need to put up. It’s something I wrote this past weekend on my whirlwind trip to NY. I didn’t pay for the WiFi on the plane, so I couldn’t post it then. I’ll get it up in the next couple days.

Overall, I feel good! Still having problems with my feet, but that’s the only place I’m sore. Incision and breast don’t hurt, still pretty numb in those places because of the nerves. I feel pretty “normal” though! So nothing to complain about here.

I’ve got a fighter friend who is having her flap DIEP mastectomy tomorrow! Please keep her in your thoughts and prayers over the next few weeks! Best of luck to you, L!

Gray hairs and stripped skin

I remembered what I wanted to complain about on Friday!

My hair is growing in. It’s thick and fluffy and will be back to aggravating me in no time. Well, it’s already aggravating me because my stupid gray hairs are growing back in. Give me a freaking break!? Ugh. Anyway, that’s one of the things I wanted to mention but forgot about.

The second thing is that I am literally pulling my skin off with this stupid tape every day. I stuff my wound with gauze, then tape a gauze pad (or seven, since I’m draining there, too) on top. I try to put the tape in a different place each time so I’m not ripping it off the same skin ever time I change it. I’m running out of skin! Sometimes it even bleeds. This crap hurts. And it’s weird because I don’t have feeling on my skin above the incision line, so I can’t feel it. I can only see that my skin is super red and sometimes bleeding. Below the incision line, I feel, and I don’t like it at all!

Ohhh! And since I hate shaving my legs, I’ll add that it’s quite annoying to have my leg hair growing again.

In other news, it looks like gaping hole is getting smaller. It’s getting harder to stuff the gauze in there. It’s still totally there, though.

What sucks lately

Everything has been pretty good and life is moving along nicely, so I figured I’d throw in a few gripes since everything can’t always be sunshine and rainbows and unicorns.

I’m having trouble falling asleep. I fell asleep early last night (by early I mean 10pm) and that may or may not have been a result of Sleepy Time Tea. I was desperate and figured it wouldn’t hurt to try it. So it was either that or the lack of sleep had finally caught up to me.

My feet still hurt, and no, I still haven’t made an appointment with a podiatrist or anything to get them looked at. They still hurt about as much as they’ve been. No better, no worse. It’s pain on top of my feet, not on the bottom.

I really want some yummy seafood. I want to like pig out on it. Seriously.

The gaping hole is annoying. I’m used to it, but that fact that exists bothers me to an extent.

My shoulder hurts. I think I hurt the muscle, like overstretched it in my sleep or something. I should do some of my PT exercises, but I’d rather whine about it than do something about it at this point.

Seriously though, aren’t there stages of annoyance? Like…you get mad. You complain about it. You stay mad. Then you do something about it. Maybe? I don’t know.

Anyway, I can’t remember the reason I started this post. It’s not one of the aforementioned gripes, it was something else, and I lost it. Ugh.

Oh well. I don’t have any appointments on Monday, so my next doctor related update won’t be until the 20th. This upcoming week may be pretty quiet unless I think of something fun to share!

TTFN 👋🏻

Moving right along…

Yay! So I’m doing well enough that I’m finally graduating to seeing Dr. H every two weeks. It only took three months!

I had my follow up appointment yesterday, I did not need to be drained as I’m still slowly draining out the GH. I really want to share a photo, but it’s so gross looking, so I’m really holding back here. I’ll probably post one eventually.

Anyway, Dr. H said everything still looked good and sent me on my way. Brad came with me to the appointment, as he does whenever he’s off on Mondays, which is how my appointment filled Mondays came to be.

What else is new?? Not much.

I looked at a diagram of the layers of skin, fat, and stuff in the abdomen. I’m kind of wondering if what I see as the back wall of my GH is my stomach muscle, aka my abs, or flabs, as I affectionately call them. It’s kind of fascinating, to be honest. I can actually see layers, I’m just not entirely certain what they all are and I feel like an idiot asking Dr. H.

I’m also excited that I’ve been writing again. Over the weekend, I reviewed something I was working on last year and boom! It was like the floodgates opened and all the words came out. It was quite exciting–it is quite exciting. It’s touches on a tough topic, one that me and many other people I know (and don’t know) struggled with, infertility. I’m eager to get it finished and put it out there!

Umm…ok so non-sterile gauze pads are super hard to find. I need the woven kind, not the sponges. There are random medical supply places that sell them online, but trying to find somewhere local has not been easy. There’s a place in Mt. Pleasant, but that’s sooooo far away. Not really, but traffic sure makes it feel that way. I finally ordered from Amazon, but it’s not Prime shipping eligible, so I’ll see it never. Kidding, maybe Friday, but definitely not tomorrow. Gah, I’m so spoiled by Prime shipping! Brad was able to grab some from me from some criminals operating a medical supply store. I say criminals because they charge like $8 for 50 2×2 gauze pads. I will go through those in less than 3 days. I got 200 at the place in Mt. Pleasant a couple weeks ago for about $4. It’s a shame, really. The cost of medical supplies. I don’t know how people with chronic illnesses do it. Thank goodness for Amazon.

We won first place at trivia Friday night…I missed music trivia the week before, whoops!

Nothing else new to report. Had a cancellation at work today, so I’m hanging out at home, reading and writing, planning world domination. I really want a beach vacation. I had an awesome time at the Outer Banks a few years ago. I’d love to go back. Lots of AirBnB options there.

I’m going to sign off now, I’ll update more when I’ve got more to share. 😊

So that’s what we’re doing now…

I got up yesterday morning and felt pretty good about my appointment. I wasn’t feeling very sloshy in the mid-section, so I thought maybe I wouldn’t need to be drained, that maybe things were working in my favor.

The Dakins solution I’ve been using (the bleach stuff) has been soaking through the bandages and my clothes a little bit. Nothing I haven’t been used to over the last week of me having to pack this wound. So when I got out of the car at the doctor’s office and the waist of my pants was a little wetter than normal, I just shrugged it off, knowing he was going to end up re-dressing it anyway.

So I’m sitting on the bed/chair/bench thing in the office and he comes in, asks how it’s going. I say great. He goes to look at the wound and the gauze is tinged pink, I lamely say that maybe it’s the dye from my dark maroon underwear since the Dakins has been bleaching my clothes. He says he thinks I’m draining.

Nothing really surprises me anymore, so whatever.

I lay back and he peels the stuff off, unpacks the wound and there it is. Like an overflowing manhole during a Charleston flood…the gaping hole on my belly has sprung a leak and is spewing out lymph and whatever the heck else all over the place. I feel a gush of warmth over my belly and legs, lift my head up, see my belly fountain, and just lay my head back down.

There’s nothing in the universe to better describe that moment. Convenient that I found this meme the same day Mount Jennifer erupted.

Needless to say, I didn’t need to be drained. Both sides of my body were draining out of my gaping hole (GH). Fantastic, if you ask me.

Aside from that, things looked good. Dr. H was very apologetic about the fact that I was completely drenched, like it was his fault, which it wasn’t. I mean who the heck knew that was going to happen? I told him it hadn’t been draining like that, because I most certainly would have called, that this was brand new.

So now I’m draining a little bit here and there, which is totally fine by me because that crap needs an exit point! If it drains out my GH, then I won’t need to be needled.

Oncologist was uneventful. I only have two more infusions before I’m done with that. I can’t wait to lose this port. I swear it’s getting closer to the surface, like it’s working itself out. My nurse even commented on it looking close to the surface. Oh well, it won’t be too much longer and then I’ll be having it removed. Ta-ta port who remained unnamed. I can’t believe I never named it…I guess I always thought of it as Pete the Port because that’s what Judie’s port’s name is…

So I’m walking around, packing a washcloth in my pants to sop up any extra drainage so I can continue living my life. I do get a little sore in the mid-section here and there, but it’s tolerable. The washcloth doesn’t get completely saturated, so that’s nice, but at least my clothes are protected. But…awkward…

In other news, Brad and I watched Avengers Infinity War tonight, and now I’m officially caught up on the MCU. Now I have absolutely no idea what I’m going to do with my life. No idea. I mean, I’ve been living off my Marvel to-do list, now what? WHAT?!

I’m kidding. It’s not like I don’t have work, school, more work, Daisy, A gaping hole in my abdomen, Brad, food…I’ll be ok.